My Love

"I believe in evolution of thought and understanding, not lineage and blind acceptance." -- Carlos Tao

Years of parental training, years of questions, years of observing and dissecting and re-questioning and contemplating, but purpose, clarity, or understanding how Islam was THE way to live - was silent.

"They are wrong, and we are right! And you better do as we say because you will be cursed otherwise and burn in eternal hell."

Wait, what?

Resistance began it's campaigning. Resistance to investing the time and energy to understand all that was considered to be absolute.

God doesn't speak through mediums to relay his messages.

Just as a ray of light is an extension of the sun. Just as a wave is an extension of the ocean. I am an extension of our creator.

Allowing myself to be still. To be quiet. To look inside, thru the darkness of a chattering mind. There is a secret and sacred place. My creator and I embrace.

Boundless love. Purity. She smiles upon me. And I submit to her. My love.

Then Im back. Confused through the chaos of the routine of notifications and status alerts.

"The good people of the world they're washin' their cars
On their lunch break
Hosin' and scrubbin' as best they can in skirts in suits
They drive up in their shiny Datsuns and Buicks
Back to the phone company and record stores too."

Gifts. Presents. Present. Creativity. Inspiration. I choose to reverse momentum and spiral upward.

This journey is mine alone. You cannot walk it for me. Begin your journey. I want us to hold hands thru our trek.

Let us be without resistance. Find a state of flow. When time blurs and aRt is created. Just Be Here Now.

What you think becomes true. So what do you think of?

Just as we breathe in, we must breathe out. Then do not separate - I am whole.

DUALITY

WARNING: The following words come from a dark place that may invoke deep negativity, discomfort, or further propagate a sense of feeling jaded.

The good news is - everything is equal and opposite. Duality.

“Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.”  - Tyler Durden

My eyes crack open - and at first - stung by the rays of light hitting my pupils, triggering my irises call to duty. It’s been seconds, minutes, or perhaps decades that have passed as my vision begins to clear. The intersection of depth, emotion, color, beauty and discomfort.  How long have I been asleep? How long was I there, when did it start, and what have I been doing?

This is my spiritual awakening. It is confusing and painful inside the cage we seem to reside in. This cage is not real, yet fingers poke through the bars at every corner of the circle. Moaning and grunting suggest existence is the opposite of love. It is energetic madness. Blindfolded in rush hour traffic and nauseous from running a rat-racing marathon. Keys to souls sit just beneath noses and some noses are bigger than others. The blindfolds are tied tight, but the pairs of ears remain unobstructed. Sadly, no one is listening. Shallow breathing, flushed scared skin, and emotional paralysis are wrapped around bodies like quilts.

Don’t be inside. Be outside. Listen to what I have to say. I have what you need. I see your wrinkles growing deep - and I have a solution for you - it’ll make your ageless! Want to have a great time with great friends? I have something that never fills you up and never lets you down - go on - drink more - you’ll forget all your worries and your blessings.   Want to be a road racing badass - I’ve got just the toy - and I’m running a special - just for you - but you gotta hurry! SALE, SALE, SALE! Hey - does life have you upside-down? You deserve more. Eat these pills.  They’ll get you straightened out and back into traffic where you belong. Talk to your misguided pill pusher for a free consultation. Can’t get your dick up - here’s a solution. Hungry? Have an orgasm in your mouth with low grade, vibration-killing food, that’ll surely cloud your mind and send you into a vicious cycle of dopamine addiction. It’ll be worth it! ;) Want to make a change in the world - donate to us - we’ll use it for research that cures diseases that we cause. And if you think you have a cure, fuck you. We’ll kill you.

Breathe.

This shit smeared on all four walls. Poison vibrated from the television and radio. Six corporations put out programing on our radios and televisions. Six. Numb you up, make you feel insecure, sell you shit that promises happiness, wholeness, and love. Yet, diseases continue to worsen, depression continues to climax, and our relationships continue to diminish.

Western societies encourage this behavior. As five year old babies we are taught to compare ourselves to our peers through a grading system that does nothing to encourage personal and individual growth. The opposite of love and nourishment.  It’s a creativity killing training. Run them through an assembly line, have them fight fiercely against each other. They’ll scratch, claw, cheat and learn deception so they can get that job that pays them more than their neighbors. Competition! Capitalism! Eat or be eaten! Help is not on the way. Cooperation is a self serving practice. Excessive consumer spending and material collection will become an addiction. And a spirit numbing elixir called alcohol will continue to flow as a management tool. They’ll work - obeying men and women that will threaten to throw their families our on the street if they don’t generate enough profits for them. In exchange, they’ll earn meager wages that’ll push them into corners - helpless and desperate. And when they get sick from a lifetime of abuse, oppression, and pain - we’ll choke the last bits of energy left in them by selling them shit healthcare that will send them to their insignificant graves.

Statistics show that 80% live paycheck to paycheck, enslaving them to their credit cards and mortgages. “Greatest country in the world.” The system is built to condition the people to depend on grocery stores, pharmacies, convenience stores, and oil.  Social media exacerbates the the problem by propagating and encouraging the people to be so distracted from their infinite potential - that depression, anxiety, fear, and insecurity readily propagate. Healing is kept at bay as trauma continues to unfold.  

Our environment is being destroyed at an alarming rate. Governments pollute our oceans, massacre our forests, and saturate the atmosphere poison. Government motto: God bless me and no one else. Western society is sick. Its plague is the promise of wholeness with an agenda to enslave. It fueled by profit and division. It carries no loyalty. It’s not personal, it’s just business.

----------------------o------------------------o-----------------------o--------------------------o---------------------o

The good news is - Newton is right - all forces are equal and opposite.

I wake to the rising light of the sun, setting off the onset of several deep breaths. It feels good to nourish with intention. Thank you for this rest. Thank you for this warm protection and this soft ground. Thank for you waking me up in Your presence. Thank you for waking me up next to her sweet and sleepy smile. Thank you for this roof and for this tribe. Today, I have so many offerings to make. There are blessings to count - so in gratitude I shall serve you. I am at your feet with my surrendering love. Mother earth - your support, your nourishment, and your love is my infinite loyalty. The ripening of hydrating melons during summer months, and the Vitamin C packed citrus fruits during winter months brings clarity in that Pachamama gives us what we need to grow. She is our mother. And with each barefoot step we take on her soil, we are healed.  Free electrons are absorbed through the feet, antioxidants are introduced into the body, and free radicals are neutralized. Can you see? Our obligation is gratitude and care for our caregiver. Father sky - your energy, your encouragement, and your protection is my humble service. The Source of light carries energy and essential benefits for our bodies. Sun gazing has been proven to carry profound benefits through nourishment and growth of our pineal gland and therefore our endocrine system. Our pineal gland is home to dimethyltryptamine and is responsible for regulating our sleep cycling through the production and release of melatonin. How do you feel after a good night’s sleep? How do you feel after poor sleep? How important do you think the health of our pineal gland is? Priorities. Cognitive optimization.  Goal setting and goal slaying.

Nature. I am present. I only hear the sound of a soft stream of water. I only see the orange sky as the  sun sets. I only smell the fragrance of a violet. I only touch the softness of my beloved. And I only feel Mama Ayahuasca in my heart. All that is real is perfect. I am learning.

Listen. Listen as far as you can listen. Then listen as deep as you can listen. Do you hear it? Do you hear the hum of infinity? Can you hear the sound of creation? Just breathe. The air is a gift and our first blessing. Inhale. Inhale deeply. Saturate your body with respiratory food. Exhale in gratitude. CALM. Calm. calm.

As I surrender to truth and as I clear my vision from modern societies rules of fear, I cannot abstain from embodying beauty. My senses are heightened to pure love. I desire wellness for all things. I am soft in my eyes and strong in my arm. There is no confusion. Peace is felt when respect is shared. Do not be confusion. Kindness is not weakness. Fight the power, water the flower. Give and nourish. Take all that you need and nothing more. Be in gratitude. Release that of which does not agree with intuition.  Feel well. Feel deeply. Feel for distance. It is in stillness that Pachamama and Father sky smile. And it is with their smile that you shall smile too.

Oneness.

Reach Out - Peru [Part 1]

Some schools of thought say that when we serve others, we are served. Imagine using a lit candle to light an unlit one. The original candle loses nothing and both candles benefit from a brighter room.

This is what two weeks in Peru felt like.





Big thanks to Reach Out Volunteers for affording me the opportunity to be in service to a rural community in Misminay, Peru. Less than a few hours from Cusco - our volunteer teams helped a few local families renovate their soot-ridden kitchens. By the week's end, a group of international strangers turned their slightly uncomfortable hellos to embraced farewells - all goose-bumped with gratitude and refusals to say 'goodbye'. By Incan standards - we were now forever linked - promised to meet again in this life or the next. We became each other's hermanos y hermanas.

Pacha Mama, otherwise known as mother earth, has been impressed by our working boots, and by honoring the food, shelter and sustenance she has provided, we are forever humbled by her generosity. Prayer and mediation in reverence to the works of the stars above us is our obligation to our father. For he has blessed us with an endless source of energy, of which can only be harnesses through love. I give thanks.



As we wake each morning, we break bread with our brothers and sisters as our initial act of love for Pacha Mama. Kindness and compassion sets our day before us. The mountains will bring us nausea, dizziness and pounding headaches, yet our mission to serve one another is unwavered. For our time is short and honoring our room is infinite. Relationships grow and legacies are left.

For those whom I had the priviledge of working for and with, my heart give thanks. Lasting impacts have surely been made, as my blood shall never flow the same again. This is love received.

Led by a modern day Inca, his drive to organize, translate, and educate our days among the natives was his service to the neighborhood he grew up in. His name will be forever whispered among the people but perhaps never known by those outside of them. Humility rages as his hand softly laid upon his heart kindly shares that English, Spanish, nor Quechua is his native language, rather the subtle vibrations within chest is.

Plagued with altitude sickness and enduring hikes, I've heard the toughest journeys often lead to the most beautiful destinations. We are beginning to understand.

My expression of emotion is attempted through these words, for this shift in understanding points me to a new list of goals and desires. I am in humbled service.

Gifts of discovery, centuries of knowledge, and joys of group pictures - where else can we shine brighter. Each breath we miss, we are grounded, and each breath we take we are grateful. Laughter and sympathethic presence while sharing our host's tastey meals is our bond and our intrinsic reward through sleepless nights and pain.



Living privileged is a privilege. Do not forget. Continue to share your light for when your wax runs lows, the room shall continue to burn bright.

A big thank you to Reach Out Volunteers and all the volunteers who put others before themselves.

Panama City, Panama

After a sparked interest with the American Society of Civil Engineers (ASCE) and simultaneously giving birth to wanderlust - the universe sent me an advertisement. ASCE was hosting their 7 day national conference in Panama City, Panama. And instantly I wanted to go. Historically, an uncommon reaction to international travel. Panama holds significance to my family because it was the first country my parents lived in as a married couple. They often shared stories of big business, ocean-front living, and kind locals.

It was less than a few weeks before I had planned, number crunched and booked my first international solo trip. And because the Conference was offering a plethora of continuing education credits, I was able to have the trip endorsed by my employer. No vacation time used, and most costs covered. Check! And so as the stars aligned, I was in Panama City in late 2014 for the first time since I was an infant.

The conference wasn't too different from a typical conference - early morning breakfasts, educational and discussion forward presentations, and plenty of opportunities to network during and after each day. But what I especially liked was the opportunities to venture out of the city to visit various marvels of this historic Central American city.

Day 01 was consumed by checking-in to the conference hotel, and checking-out the City as far as my feet could take me. Surrounded by high-rise modern skyscrapers, lush green landscapes, and docked yachts, Panama felt a lot like Miami. I even found a Hooters that posted a banner: "Bienvenidos Florida State Seminoles!"

Breath lines

But unlike Miami, Panama City abutted the Pacific Ocean. And one of most fantastic experiences I had during this day was witnessing the ocean visually and audibly rising and falling as if is it was breathing. This breath-work felt nourishing. Another capturing site was the continuous bike lanes and unique recycling bins. Environmental consciousness and bikes make me smile. The recycle bins separated organics!  If people know why they have to separate their garbage, they may understand the impact of their garbage.

Casa Viejo

Casa Viejo

The city also maintains its old city, otherwise known as, Casa Viejo. Casa Viejo was first settled on in 1673. ¡Que viejo! Filled with narrow brick streets, the old city is an ongoing work in progress.  Some structures were broken and battered - others were refinished and made into quaint and authentic restaurant attractions.  I didn't stay in Casa Viejo for any longer than a meal and a few photos - but returning a few days later w new friends was enchanting.

Our ride and view to the island research facility

Day 02 was a small group visit to the Barro Colorodo Nature Monument which is located in the Gatun Lake section of the Panama Canal. By the way, the Panama Canal monumentally changed the course of international trade and global economics - forever. It's impact cannot be overstated.  More on this later.

BCNM - Raining in the Rainforest, appropriately

The 21 square mile Monument has been managed by the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute since 1946 and has been a protected national biological reserve since 1923. This research facility, carved into the rainforest, carries its existence to preserve and observe its surroundings. Being in a place that is highly revered for its natural state rather than its potential for economical development was refreshing!

BCNM - Gatun Lake

Our welcoming tour guides were kind and patient, but firm about the rules of our visit. This was a research facility before it's a tourist attraction. Respecting the rainforest and its inhabitants were of the up most importance. And the monkeys reminded those who forgot. Hanging out too long, capturing too many photos and smiling in amusement was grounds to be aggressively confronted by the indigenous locals. It felt like we were the rodents being shooed out of the house. I enjoyed gaining this perspective.

Old trees carry rich stories

 

Research markers

Route to the BCNM along the Panama Canal

BCNM Trail

Day 03 was our visit to the Panama Canal. What a machine.

The man-made Panama Canal is the interface between North America and South America and has reinvented international trade and commerce - forever. Ships route through the Canal when transitioning between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans in lieu of tracking south of South America, drastically cutting travel times down. Time is money, sí? Highly political, highly expensive, and a tremendous civil engineering project - the Canal has been named a Modern Wonder of the World.  First attempted to be built by the French in the late 1800s - disease, danger, and dollars shut the French operation down. The US arranged its acquisition and completed the project within the first quarter of the 1900s. The Canal is currently owned and operated by the Panamanian Authority.

Aside from changing the course of trade history - the Panama Canal is a civil engineering feat! The unique challenge is raising and lowering cargo ships along the surface of the land by filling and emptying locks. This could technical, so here's a easy animation.

Panoramic view of the Mira Flores locks

Escort up front

Escort out back

Seeing the Panama Canal via the official Visitor's Center was cool, but getting to go backstage and onsite of an ongoing expansion project was what got thousands of conference attendees buzzing.

Toyota Hilux <3

Despite my years and experience in shiny shoes, operating expensive software, I like the dust, the hard hats, and the acceptance of foul language on construction sites - actually i prefer it. It makes for being more present. 

We were briefed by one of the superintendents with broad level updates and enough nerdy engineering language that had the crowd oscillating between "ooohs" and "aahhhs".

When we meet cool new people - we take a picture

Day 04 was the last full day of the conference. Attendees were beginning to wind down from the educational stimulation and spent more time networking over drinks and dinners. Hand shakes turned to hugs and Facebook friendships were confirmed. I saw dreams in the eyes of students, I sensed ambitious traction from the young professionals, and felt that I picked up a few seniors mentors. 

Being the lone attendee from Miami - I was adopted and made an honorary member of the ASCE LA Section by a group young engineers from Los Angeles. They rolled dozens deep and moved around like a school of tuna.  The personalities, the respect, and the love inspired me to return to Miami with a new approach to serving on Miami's Board of Directors. LA Section, my humble thanks.

But as many of us introverts require - it was time to retreat with the intention to recharge. I kindly declined a few lunch invites so I could find a quiet and remote area within the City where I could either knock out a few sun salutations or simply sit in silence.

Trip Advisor emphatically pointed me to Templo Bahia.

I read bit about the religious temple and broadly understood the religion to be an evolution of today's major religions. The religion is based on humanitarian, moral, social and educational values. And is roughly 100 years old. No objections there - so I called for a cab.

Located atop the hills of Panama City, my ride took me through the sloping streets of the local neighborhoods that hadn't resembled Casa Viejo or the new city.

When I arrived at the entrance of the temple, the landscaping instantly went from an entropic design to an artful one. The local vegetation swayed with the slightest breeze as if whispering to its visitors - please shut the fuck up. :)

... TO BE CONTINUED

The Birth of Wander

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

My father was a traveler. He was born and raised in Pakistan, but he found his education and career abroad. From Abu-Dhabi to the UK to the Americas, dad would exaggerate and brag about traveling through 8 continents! [and yea...we're still looking for that last one.]

But unlike him, I wasn't a traveler. I wasn't curious. I never thought about getting lost in a foreign city. Probably because I didn't have the money or confidence to wander onto unknown lands. By trade, I'm an engineer. By nature, I analyze the fuck out of everything. A conservative mindset ensuring safeguards against uncertainty resulted in paralysis by analysis. The only time I would travel is when others planned and I followed.

But through a few recent experiences - as shared on previous posts - entering unfamiliar realms of experience proved to open fascinating doors of which I didn't even know existed. Simply stated, I started looking up at the sky more than down at my phone. Infinity became interesting.

Small but ride-able waves prior to presentation day

When I was asked to travel to Cocoa Beach, Florida for work - on a Saturday - my initial reaction was dread. I wasn't trying to spend my weekend preparing for and presenting before a State agency in hopes to gain a $1M grant for the municipality. But embracing the idea that I didn't know what I didn't know, I approached the project with intuition instead of anxiety. 

The presentation and project description was straight forward. The municipality wanted to rehabilitate a few seawalls, and there was a State agency, the Florida Inland Navigation District, that promoted such infrastructure projects by granting grants. Our job was to illustrate our efforts with a short presentation, answer a few questions from the Committee and smile. Luckily, I had the company of a colleague who had been through this process before and only needed me to serve as the technical lead of the project. [Thanks Judy!]
 

After delivering the presentation, I could have packed up and headed back home, but a past surf trip with the boys in Nicaragua had me itching to surf again. And since Cocoa Beach is one of Florida's better surf locations, I decided to reach out to a local surf instructor to revisit the sensation of the ocean energy beneath my feet. Unfortunately, by the time I was free to ride, the surf had flattened and was no longer ride-able.  Then that cliché of life being a journey, not a destination, surfaced. I felt excited to have just intended to surf. Sure, it would have been to dope to catch a few waves, but there was an absence of disappointment.    

And so, while my soul smiled, my stomach growled. An easy sandwich and accompanying celebratory beer was in order. Cheers to [not] surfing! I took a near by stairway to the Tiki Bar located just above where I had planned to hang-ten, and there I sat with a few laid back locals who seemed to be patiently waiting for tomorrow's possible waves. Conversation was light and the beers were cold. It's interesting how catching a buzz seems to be easier when the mind isn't resisting. After one beer, a few hours and a few pictures, I thanked my new friends for their vibes and cashed out.  I returned to my hotel, packed up, and headed home. 

On my drive back, I recall feeling reset. A trip was blissful for the first time.

So when I returned to Miami, I booked a seven-day solo trip to Panama City, Panama.

Man in the Mirror

In 2014, I decided to turn the volume way down on a private sector corporate grind by joining the public service workforce. And I soon found myself with a surplus of cognitive energy.  Having been trained to focus, grind, complete and repeat,  I was challenged by the boredom of public sector red-tape. I had even been asked to put my proverbial feet up and work less. I was enduring a work culture shock and it wasn't long before I knew I needed to channel this surplus elsewhere.

So I started volunteering my time with organizations that appeared to be in service of others. [I would later find that this intention runs in parallel with vedantic yogic philosophy.] One of the organizations was the American Society of Civil Engineers (ASCE). 

ASCE is one of the largest non-profit civil engineering professional networks in the country - broken into Sections and Branches. Its Vision: Civil engineers building a better quality of life. My interest laid in applying my engineering skill set without having to track how profitable I could be. And I wanted to grow my professional network. [After all, you never know who you'll meet.]  So I cold-called the sitting president of the ASCE Miami-Dade Branch and was offered a position on the Board of Directors as the Younger Member Group Chair. [The Branch carries approximately 900 active members, 30 who are in leaderships roles, and 10 who make up the Board of Directors.]

My duty was to host social events with pretty simple rules: 1. Obtain sponsorship from a local civil engineering firm. 2. Advertise and host a Happy Hour.

So I got right to work by setting an intention - to bring local (and commonly introverted) engineers together, free and clear of a corporate environment, so as to promote  more casual business relationships. Our younger members spent enough time professionally crafting emails and artfully obeying company policies. It was time to let go and find out who people were beyond their job titles and roles.

Toward intention, my focus was finding unique and memorable venues that would serve as a catalyst to people having unique and memorable experiences. For example, one of the venues was a hidden gem of a brewery on the outskirts of the newly booming arts-district, Wynwood. Today, the Wynwood Brewery is a pioneer in Miami's craft beer scene. Go see and show some love to my boy, Javier.

Over the course of a year, we hosted hundreds of members, raised hundreds of dollars across various charities and best of all, had members asking us when the next social would be! Engineers excited to socialize? Not so stereotypical. At the end of my term, I was awarded the Branch's Young Engineer of the Year Award - which caught me way off guard.

I didn't see my work as the Younger Member Group Chair as admirable or worthy of an award. I was only working with my easily accessible and free intuition. I wasn't grinding through someone else's SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) - as commonly found in engineering.  Flowing through creativity and intuition felt frictionless.  Light bulb.

I realized throughout my career, my own creativity and intuition were not given priority - for one reason or another. I followed those before me without trusting my own instincts.  This light bulb was the conscious birth to self-reflection.

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." - Buddha

This is a Journey Into Yogic Sound

2010. Four years into working for corporate America - I came across a number of articles targeted at young professionals, like myself, who are in the grind and looking to find 'balance'. My first thought was: Balance? What balance? I had money in my pocket, a place of my own, a socially respectable job, I was dating with some success (and some failure), I was driving a badass truck and drinking delicious single malt scotch with the fellas while visiting Black Jack tables at the Hard Rock. How much more balance do I need? Who needs emotions when you have work to do and booze to coat the rest? At the time I didn't know it, but a void still existed because for the next four years, I continued to come across these articles of balancing the mind, body and soul. And each time I read about yoga, I found it to align with some unknown part of me. Still a bit dehydrated from the night before and brain-fried from last week's engineering plan set submittal, that alignment never felt any more than a blip of dialogue in my brain saying - "sounds kinda cool".

Then shit hit the fan.

I starting dating a most beautiful young lady. We had known each other for a few years already, so when we went on our first date, it felt like the 10th. Things progressed pretty quickly and I had stars in my eyes. Smart, beautiful, ambitious, and humble - what a combo! But as love goes, our paths weren't meant for each other. Her track of life was far from where I was headed, and we called it quits. I was in the dumps. Combined with grinding work hours and grinding play hours, heart break was the emotional energy that forced me into surrender. The western school of thought is grind, push, control, collect, and take no prisoners. But I was depleted of trying to control everything and surrender was my only comforting state of existence. It had become clear, I needed to heal. So I quit my job, joined a significantly less demanding job and started reading more about yoga and its healing nature. I signed-up for my first yoga class in early 2014.

I have to admit, I was reluctant to participate in this girly workout, but after a handful of classes - I felt a shift within myself that I'm not sure I can put into words. At the conclusion of each class for about 10-15 minutes, I was high on sobriety. My static emotional state of depression and isolation would vanish even as I attempted to call it back. Through those short highs, my confidence shot through the roof where I found myself making new friends, flirting with girls’ way out of my league, and gaining substantial clarity of my life. I began journaling - thoughts and ideas poured out of my pen - as if straight from my subconscious. It was sensational. And I'm convinced my recent experience in surrender was the catalyst to these new experiences. I began to participate into a new dimension of living, where I began to see my routine from another point of view. Three months into my practice, and I was still high and hooked. It was a rabbit's hole and I had to see what else was down there. I knew I would never not practice. 

Work Hard, Rest Hard

I used to think "working hard and playing hard" was the appropriate stoic mentality I needed to get ahead and win at life. But after a dozen years into the game of adulting, some of the dust has settled about how winning is defined. And as the title of this post suggests, red-lining week after week is not what I'd suggest for those wanting to become the best version of themselves.

Here is what working hard and playing hard was for me. I would wake at 04:45am on the weekdays to either strength train or go on a 17 mile bike ride. When I arrived at work - at 8:00am - I was responsible to bill 90% of my time which really meant non-stop clicking and typing in a merit-worthy sedentary fashion. I'd get home around 7pm. Dinner and clean up took me to 9pm, where I got about an hour of stillness prior to involuntarily passing-out.  My weekends, when I wasn't working, were littered with high-energy entertainment as social norms seemed to encourage. I broke out the booze all weekend. Whether it was at the casino, at a college football tailgate, over poker or just at home - I blurred my way through my time off - often battling hang overs and eating junky food - only to return to Monday's morning. I believed this is what winning was. This lifestyle lasted roughly 5 years. 

It wasn't until began working for another employer that my routine and perspective changed. I even began to believe that my new perspective would be automatically adopted by all those around me because of how natural the shift felt.. to me. But I was wrong. 

Recently, I interviewed with a 60 year old executive of an engineering firm where he prided himself on grinding all week, schmoozing every night and getting blitz all weekend on single-malt scotch. Charming. During our conversation he actually suddenly fell out of his chair because he had fallen asleep from 35 years of working and playing hard. Just kidding but he did look like he had a few medical conditions that spawned from his lifestyle. And he was, generally, an overbearing ass.  Mr. Exec clearly made a career name for himself - but should his lifestyle be the path to personal and professional accomplishments? IMO - nah bro. If I may, I'd like to suggest the phrase be rephrased to "Work Hard, Rest Hard" or preferably "Work Smart, Play Golf". Needless to say, I declined his offer.

Each morning we wake up with a finite amount of energy before we need to recharge our bodies and minds - just like our beloved cell phones. Not convinced? Trying staying awake... forever. We all hit a point - regardless of the amount of coffee or other stimulants we suck down - where we simply have to rest and recharge. Still think resting is for chumps and the lazy? When you don't give your mind and body the rest it needs, it'll result in cognitive impairment - which would adversely impact accomplishing whatever goals you've set. Or as expressed in a metaphoric fashion - trying to eat a sandwich in one bite seems like a poor approach to satisfying hunger.

But as I continue to witness - from the sideline - how this work hard, play hard philosophy survives, it appears that its players hang out at the cusp of falling asleep while eating tacos and climbing corporate ladders. So what's the problem with tacos and getting those big promotions? Intuition and creativity are blunted.

Our intuition is arguable our greatest ally and supporter, and here's why. We all have opinions, preferences, sensations and urges - beyond our control. Simple example: I like the color orange and I like boobs. They are both preferences that are out of my control resulting in pleasurable brain stimulation when encountered. Instinctually and without opposition, I am drawn to these things. Others may find orange to be not so joyous, but that's the beauty of it. We are all inspired and drawn - beyond our control - by the plethora of variables in our lives. And when we are inspired, we don't feel resistance but rather an acceleration of positive energy. I don't know what is more exciting than being inspired by [fill in the blank].

With more than half of employees hating their jobs, it seems people are either running away from their intuition or simply are too busy working and playing in worlds that keep them blind to intuition. My suggestion is to begin tapping into that world that is above described as - beyond our control.  The aspirations that are guided from within ourselves lead us to the lives we dream of. It actually makes literal sense. And therefore, and in conclusion, giving ourselves the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual space to listen to our intuition is absolutely paramount - assuming that smiling more than groaning is the goal. 

So the next time someone is promoting their company or brand by saying they work hard and play hard - give it a second look - make sure playing hard doesn't mean going balls to the wall and red-lining your life. Do not let your intuitive sense go dull. Bask in the joy of your universal gifts. Find your balance. Let creativity spark within you. And you shall win at life.