TRIBAL

TRIBAL

"Blood is thicker than water."

Referring to family bonds being stronger than those of friendship and love. However, some argue that this English proverb is misguided and has been understood to actually mean the opposite.

And so the saying is more completely read as: "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

Referring to the bonds created between those who have shed blood in battle are stronger than the bonds of genetics.

And I believe blood shed isn't limited to its physical suggestion. In our age of mental health crises, spiritual emptiness, widespread emotional isolation and insecurity, battles are fought where bloodshed is a metaphor.

The wars fought on the grounds of the kingdom within appear to be incessant. "To live is to suffer, and to survive is to find meaning in the suffering."

We all must walk our own path and each journey is independent, but it is those who stand with us, walk along side us, and support us in our suffering, offering a lack of judgement [also known as love] who become our tribesmen and women. Sharing genetics isn't the qualification.

All life strives to heal, prosper, and growth. Members of a tribe love each other in favor of each others growth - so they too can heal, prosper, and grow. This is inter-dependency. This is how a teepee remains erect. [Erect... lol]

Presence and Presents - Doha, Qatar

The gift of now, often referred to as the present, isn't just wrapped with anticipation, it is the blissful moment of excitement.

WELCOME TO DOHA, QATAR

Often so, fleeting bliss seems to come and go, yet the present doesn't flee, its constant. Are you here with me?

I'm engulfed w gratitude, traveling to a new land that perhaps carries the spirit of my DNA. I think certainly does.

BLUE SKIES AND DUSTY NEIGHBORHOOD ROADS

My first trip to the Middle East, endorsed by an employer, partnered with mom, welcomed and hosted by family, and blessed by right now.

SOUQ WAQIF

The call to prayer commonly filling the streets as do 4x4 Toyotas and delicious Turkish shawarma! Someone pass me a tissue.

 SAND CRUISER AND A LAND CRUISER 

The opportunity to pick up where we left off after a 14 hour non-stop flight, landing in Doha, Qatar, leaves a man feeling seamless, or better felt - in flow. The water feels cool.

DOHA PORT

The regularity of tea time and afternoon naps support an adjusting circadian rhythm. So refreshed and so grateful for His wrench.

MAMOO, MAMI, CUZ, AND MOM

Yearning for a sense of belonging for decades, it felt met after 1 week under a scorching sun and along side caramel colored people (and animals).



"Habibi!" Said no one, yet "Habibi!" was felt at Mamoo's house and in the desert sands of a place I've never consciously known.

SEALINE SAND DUNES, QATAR

Absorbing a vibration through my toes, we raced through kilometers of sand dunes, revving and ripping through treacherous and enduring carvaned ancient pathways. Under tents, on top of carpets, and offered fresh tea is where we rested. It was the rush of thrill that detoxed our suffering. Oh so present!

   SEALINE SAND DUNES, QATAR

The sun smiled while it burned yet the Toyotas begged for a challenge.

Kings who serve us sweets. Ceilings dedicated to the sky. And structures that make you wonder - how the fuck?

DOWNTOWN DOHA

The birth of our history is born bold. Yet unafraid to be speak softly it uncovers its balance. Love is our leader.

MUSEUM OF ISLAMIC ART

NATIONAL MUSEUM OF QATAR

The present of this fresh new breath. Feeling inspired and connected as a gift wrapped box when presented.

With gratitude - thank you.

DOHA, QATAR 2019

A Monkey and Barking Dogs

"When Ram asked Hanuman, 'what are you monkey?' Hanuman said 'when I dont know who I am, I serve you. When I know who I am, I am you."

Joy, bliss, peace, abundance, love, and serenity. A finger more than a handful of emotions we all seem to seek. How these states are reached is our choice. Go for run. Drink a little Henney. Consume a piece of fruit or a bowl of ice cream. Volunteer. Pop a pill. Golf, rest, or even drop a satisfying deuce.

The goal is the same. The difference lies in the return on investment of the chosen activity.

Joy, bliss, peace, abundance, love, and serenity are kept from us because we think it is to be collected or achieved. If we work more hours and earn more money. If we are recognized by our peers and revered on social media. If we can just gain that social status. If we can collect more stuff. If... then I'll make it to the house of joy, bliss, peace, abundance, love, and serenity.

But wait, what if I cant make it there, I'll be doomed. I'll be sad, anxious, incomplete, unaccepted, uncool, an outcast. Life will be a failure. I will be a failure. I fear. So I'll work harder and collect more. That vicious cycle. I'll watch television to ease my stress at the end of the day and when my guards are down and my consciousness is catching its breath, I'll absorb the media message of more consumption and more fear. My insecurities will be highlighted and then I'll need more stuff that I certainly don't fucking need. More validation from my peers, and more money to find a temporary smile. That vicious cycle.

Those fears and insecurities are barking dogs are the gates of the joy, bliss, peace, abundance, love and serenity house. And those dogs look like Suge Knight, ruthless. But - they aren't real. They are only conditions and emotional traumas that are ready to be undone.

Do not run from the dogs. Do not avoid the dogs. Do not fear their teeth, for they cannot bite. They are a mirage that has appeared after years of walking through dry deserts that lack love, compassion, patience, and, forgiveness.

See the dogs. Approach the dogs. Let them bark and growl. Sit in front of them and look at them in the eye. And smile. Like magic, watch the dogs turn into puppies and become your loyal escorts into the house of joy, bliss, peace, abundance, love, and serenity.

I chose to meditate everyday. I chose to be present everyday. To sit with uncomfortable feelings, breathing, and watching them dissipate. I learn to feel the energy that flows through me. I notice the thoughts and actions that bring emotional joy. I notice the thoughts and actions that bring pain and suffering. I do not judge. I just am. I do this everyday. I surrender to the divine current assigned to me.  And I smiled largest when I found that I had always been in this house.

My Love

"I believe in evolution of thought and understanding, not lineage and blind acceptance." -- Carlos Tao

Years of parental training, years of questions, years of observing and dissecting and re-questioning and contemplating, but purpose, clarity, or understanding how Islam was THE way to live - was silent.

"They are wrong, and we are right! And you better do as we say because you will be cursed otherwise and burn in eternal hell."

Wait, what?

Resistance began it's campaigning. Resistance to investing the time and energy to understand all that was considered to be absolute.

God doesn't speak through mediums to relay his messages.

Just as a ray of light is an extension of the sun. Just as a wave is an extension of the ocean. I am an extension of our creator.

Allowing myself to be still. To be quiet. To look inside, thru the darkness of a chattering mind. There is a secret and sacred place. My creator and I embrace.

Boundless love. Purity. She smiles upon me. And I submit to her. My love.

Then Im back. Confused through the chaos of the routine of notifications and status alerts.

"The good people of the world they're washin' their cars
On their lunch break
Hosin' and scrubbin' as best they can in skirts in suits
They drive up in their shiny Datsuns and Buicks
Back to the phone company and record stores too."

Gifts. Presents. Present. Creativity. Inspiration. I choose to reverse momentum and spiral upward.

This journey is mine alone. You cannot walk it for me. Begin your journey. I want us to hold hands thru our trek.

Let us be without resistance. Find a state of flow. When time blurs and aRt is created. Just Be Here Now.

What you think becomes true. So what do you think of?

Just as we breathe in, we must breathe out. Then do not separate - I am whole.

DUALITY

WARNING: The following words come from a dark place that may invoke deep negativity, discomfort, or further propagate a sense of feeling jaded.

The good news is - everything is equal and opposite. Duality.

“Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.”  - Tyler Durden

My eyes crack open - and at first - stung by the rays of light hitting my pupils, triggering my irises call to duty. It’s been seconds, minutes, or perhaps decades that have passed as my vision begins to clear. The intersection of depth, emotion, color, beauty and discomfort.  How long have I been asleep? How long was I there, when did it start, and what have I been doing?

This is my spiritual awakening. It is confusing and painful inside the cage we seem to reside in. This cage is not real, yet fingers poke through the bars at every corner of the circle. Moaning and grunting suggest existence is the opposite of love. It is energetic madness. Blindfolded in rush hour traffic and nauseous from running a rat-racing marathon. Keys to souls sit just beneath noses and some noses are bigger than others. The blindfolds are tied tight, but the pairs of ears remain unobstructed. Sadly, no one is listening. Shallow breathing, flushed scared skin, and emotional paralysis are wrapped around bodies like quilts.

Don’t be inside. Be outside. Listen to what I have to say. I have what you need. I see your wrinkles growing deep - and I have a solution for you - it’ll make your ageless! Want to have a great time with great friends? I have something that never fills you up and never lets you down - go on - drink more - you’ll forget all your worries and your blessings.   Want to be a road racing badass - I’ve got just the toy - and I’m running a special - just for you - but you gotta hurry! SALE, SALE, SALE! Hey - does life have you upside-down? You deserve more. Eat these pills.  They’ll get you straightened out and back into traffic where you belong. Talk to your misguided pill pusher for a free consultation. Can’t get your dick up - here’s a solution. Hungry? Have an orgasm in your mouth with low grade, vibration-killing food, that’ll surely cloud your mind and send you into a vicious cycle of dopamine addiction. It’ll be worth it! ;) Want to make a change in the world - donate to us - we’ll use it for research that cures diseases that we cause. And if you think you have a cure, fuck you. We’ll kill you.

Breathe.

This shit smeared on all four walls. Poison vibrated from the television and radio. Six corporations put out programing on our radios and televisions. Six. Numb you up, make you feel insecure, sell you shit that promises happiness, wholeness, and love. Yet, diseases continue to worsen, depression continues to climax, and our relationships continue to diminish.

Western societies encourage this behavior. As five year old babies we are taught to compare ourselves to our peers through a grading system that does nothing to encourage personal and individual growth. The opposite of love and nourishment.  It’s a creativity killing training. Run them through an assembly line, have them fight fiercely against each other. They’ll scratch, claw, cheat and learn deception so they can get that job that pays them more than their neighbors. Competition! Capitalism! Eat or be eaten! Help is not on the way. Cooperation is a self serving practice. Excessive consumer spending and material collection will become an addiction. And a spirit numbing elixir called alcohol will continue to flow as a management tool. They’ll work - obeying men and women that will threaten to throw their families our on the street if they don’t generate enough profits for them. In exchange, they’ll earn meager wages that’ll push them into corners - helpless and desperate. And when they get sick from a lifetime of abuse, oppression, and pain - we’ll choke the last bits of energy left in them by selling them shit healthcare that will send them to their insignificant graves.

Statistics show that 80% live paycheck to paycheck, enslaving them to their credit cards and mortgages. “Greatest country in the world.” The system is built to condition the people to depend on grocery stores, pharmacies, convenience stores, and oil.  Social media exacerbates the the problem by propagating and encouraging the people to be so distracted from their infinite potential - that depression, anxiety, fear, and insecurity readily propagate. Healing is kept at bay as trauma continues to unfold.  

Our environment is being destroyed at an alarming rate. Governments pollute our oceans, massacre our forests, and saturate the atmosphere poison. Government motto: God bless me and no one else. Western society is sick. Its plague is the promise of wholeness with an agenda to enslave. It fueled by profit and division. It carries no loyalty. It’s not personal, it’s just business.

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The good news is - Newton is right - all forces are equal and opposite.

I wake to the rising light of the sun, setting off the onset of several deep breaths. It feels good to nourish with intention. Thank you for this rest. Thank you for this warm protection and this soft ground. Thank for you waking me up in Your presence. Thank you for waking me up next to her sweet and sleepy smile. Thank you for this roof and for this tribe. Today, I have so many offerings to make. There are blessings to count - so in gratitude I shall serve you. I am at your feet with my surrendering love. Mother earth - your support, your nourishment, and your love is my infinite loyalty. The ripening of hydrating melons during summer months, and the Vitamin C packed citrus fruits during winter months brings clarity in that Pachamama gives us what we need to grow. She is our mother. And with each barefoot step we take on her soil, we are healed.  Free electrons are absorbed through the feet, antioxidants are introduced into the body, and free radicals are neutralized. Can you see? Our obligation is gratitude and care for our caregiver. Father sky - your energy, your encouragement, and your protection is my humble service. The Source of light carries energy and essential benefits for our bodies. Sun gazing has been proven to carry profound benefits through nourishment and growth of our pineal gland and therefore our endocrine system. Our pineal gland is home to dimethyltryptamine and is responsible for regulating our sleep cycling through the production and release of melatonin. How do you feel after a good night’s sleep? How do you feel after poor sleep? How important do you think the health of our pineal gland is? Priorities. Cognitive optimization.  Goal setting and goal slaying.

Nature. I am present. I only hear the sound of a soft stream of water. I only see the orange sky as the  sun sets. I only smell the fragrance of a violet. I only touch the softness of my beloved. And I only feel Mama Ayahuasca in my heart. All that is real is perfect. I am learning.

Listen. Listen as far as you can listen. Then listen as deep as you can listen. Do you hear it? Do you hear the hum of infinity? Can you hear the sound of creation? Just breathe. The air is a gift and our first blessing. Inhale. Inhale deeply. Saturate your body with respiratory food. Exhale in gratitude. CALM. Calm. calm.

As I surrender to truth and as I clear my vision from modern societies rules of fear, I cannot abstain from embodying beauty. My senses are heightened to pure love. I desire wellness for all things. I am soft in my eyes and strong in my arm. There is no confusion. Peace is felt when respect is shared. Do not be confusion. Kindness is not weakness. Fight the power, water the flower. Give and nourish. Take all that you need and nothing more. Be in gratitude. Release that of which does not agree with intuition.  Feel well. Feel deeply. Feel for distance. It is in stillness that Pachamama and Father sky smile. And it is with their smile that you shall smile too.

Oneness.

Reach Out - Peru [Part 1]

Some schools of thought say that when we serve others, we are served. Imagine using a lit candle to light an unlit one. The original candle loses nothing and both candles benefit from a brighter room.

This is what two weeks in Peru felt like.





Big thanks to Reach Out Volunteers for affording me the opportunity to be in service to a rural community in Misminay, Peru. Less than a few hours from Cusco - our volunteer teams helped a few local families renovate their soot-ridden kitchens. By the week's end, a group of international strangers turned their slightly uncomfortable hellos to embraced farewells - all goose-bumped with gratitude and refusals to say 'goodbye'. By Incan standards - we were now forever linked - promised to meet again in this life or the next. We became each other's hermanos y hermanas.

Pacha Mama, otherwise known as mother earth, has been impressed by our working boots, and by honoring the food, shelter and sustenance she has provided, we are forever humbled by her generosity. Prayer and mediation in reverence to the works of the stars above us is our obligation to our father. For he has blessed us with an endless source of energy, of which can only be harnesses through love. I give thanks.



As we wake each morning, we break bread with our brothers and sisters as our initial act of love for Pacha Mama. Kindness and compassion sets our day before us. The mountains will bring us nausea, dizziness and pounding headaches, yet our mission to serve one another is unwavered. For our time is short and honoring our room is infinite. Relationships grow and legacies are left.

For those whom I had the priviledge of working for and with, my heart give thanks. Lasting impacts have surely been made, as my blood shall never flow the same again. This is love received.

Led by a modern day Inca, his drive to organize, translate, and educate our days among the natives was his service to the neighborhood he grew up in. His name will be forever whispered among the people but perhaps never known by those outside of them. Humility rages as his hand softly laid upon his heart kindly shares that English, Spanish, nor Quechua is his native language, rather the subtle vibrations within chest is.

Plagued with altitude sickness and enduring hikes, I've heard the toughest journeys often lead to the most beautiful destinations. We are beginning to understand.

My expression of emotion is attempted through these words, for this shift in understanding points me to a new list of goals and desires. I am in humbled service.

Gifts of discovery, centuries of knowledge, and joys of group pictures - where else can we shine brighter. Each breath we miss, we are grounded, and each breath we take we are grateful. Laughter and sympathethic presence while sharing our host's tastey meals is our bond and our intrinsic reward through sleepless nights and pain.



Living privileged is a privilege. Do not forget. Continue to share your light for when your wax runs lows, the room shall continue to burn bright.

A big thank you to Reach Out Volunteers and all the volunteers who put others before themselves.

Panama City, Panama

After a sparked interest with the American Society of Civil Engineers (ASCE) and simultaneously giving birth to wanderlust - the universe sent me an advertisement. ASCE was hosting their 7 day national conference in Panama City, Panama. And instantly I wanted to go. Historically, an uncommon reaction to international travel. Panama holds significance to my family because it was the first country my parents lived in as a married couple. They often shared stories of big business, ocean-front living, and kind locals.

It was less than a few weeks before I had planned, number crunched and booked my first international solo trip. And because the Conference was offering a plethora of continuing education credits, I was able to have the trip endorsed by my employer. No vacation time used, and most costs covered. Check! And so as the stars aligned, I was in Panama City in late 2014 for the first time since I was an infant.

The conference wasn't too different from a typical conference - early morning breakfasts, educational and discussion forward presentations, and plenty of opportunities to network during and after each day. But what I especially liked was the opportunities to venture out of the city to visit various marvels of this historic Central American city.

Day 01 was consumed by checking-in to the conference hotel, and checking-out the City as far as my feet could take me. Surrounded by high-rise modern skyscrapers, lush green landscapes, and docked yachts, Panama felt a lot like Miami. I even found a Hooters that posted a banner: "Bienvenidos Florida State Seminoles!"

Breath lines

But unlike Miami, Panama City abutted the Pacific Ocean. And one of most fantastic experiences I had during this day was witnessing the ocean visually and audibly rising and falling as if is it was breathing. This breath-work felt nourishing. Another capturing site was the continuous bike lanes and unique recycling bins. Environmental consciousness and bikes make me smile. The recycle bins separated organics!  If people know why they have to separate their garbage, they may understand the impact of their garbage.

Casa Viejo

Casa Viejo

The city also maintains its old city, otherwise known as, Casa Viejo. Casa Viejo was first settled on in 1673. ¡Que viejo! Filled with narrow brick streets, the old city is an ongoing work in progress.  Some structures were broken and battered - others were refinished and made into quaint and authentic restaurant attractions.  I didn't stay in Casa Viejo for any longer than a meal and a few photos - but returning a few days later w new friends was enchanting.

Our ride and view to the island research facility

Day 02 was a small group visit to the Barro Colorodo Nature Monument which is located in the Gatun Lake section of the Panama Canal. By the way, the Panama Canal monumentally changed the course of international trade and global economics - forever. It's impact cannot be overstated.  More on this later.

BCNM - Raining in the Rainforest, appropriately

The 21 square mile Monument has been managed by the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute since 1946 and has been a protected national biological reserve since 1923. This research facility, carved into the rainforest, carries its existence to preserve and observe its surroundings. Being in a place that is highly revered for its natural state rather than its potential for economical development was refreshing!

BCNM - Gatun Lake

Our welcoming tour guides were kind and patient, but firm about the rules of our visit. This was a research facility before it's a tourist attraction. Respecting the rainforest and its inhabitants were of the up most importance. And the monkeys reminded those who forgot. Hanging out too long, capturing too many photos and smiling in amusement was grounds to be aggressively confronted by the indigenous locals. It felt like we were the rodents being shooed out of the house. I enjoyed gaining this perspective.

Old trees carry rich stories

 

Research markers

Route to the BCNM along the Panama Canal

BCNM Trail

Day 03 was our visit to the Panama Canal. What a machine.

The man-made Panama Canal is the interface between North America and South America and has reinvented international trade and commerce - forever. Ships route through the Canal when transitioning between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans in lieu of tracking south of South America, drastically cutting travel times down. Time is money, sí? Highly political, highly expensive, and a tremendous civil engineering project - the Canal has been named a Modern Wonder of the World.  First attempted to be built by the French in the late 1800s - disease, danger, and dollars shut the French operation down. The US arranged its acquisition and completed the project within the first quarter of the 1900s. The Canal is currently owned and operated by the Panamanian Authority.

Aside from changing the course of trade history - the Panama Canal is a civil engineering feat! The unique challenge is raising and lowering cargo ships along the surface of the land by filling and emptying locks. This could technical, so here's a easy animation.

Panoramic view of the Mira Flores locks

Escort up front

Escort out back

Seeing the Panama Canal via the official Visitor's Center was cool, but getting to go backstage and onsite of an ongoing expansion project was what got thousands of conference attendees buzzing.

Toyota Hilux <3

Despite my years and experience in shiny shoes, operating expensive software, I like the dust, the hard hats, and the acceptance of foul language on construction sites - actually i prefer it. It makes for being more present. 

We were briefed by one of the superintendents with broad level updates and enough nerdy engineering language that had the crowd oscillating between "ooohs" and "aahhhs".

When we meet cool new people - we take a picture

Day 04 was the last full day of the conference. Attendees were beginning to wind down from the educational stimulation and spent more time networking over drinks and dinners. Hand shakes turned to hugs and Facebook friendships were confirmed. I saw dreams in the eyes of students, I sensed ambitious traction from the young professionals, and felt that I picked up a few seniors mentors. 

Being the lone attendee from Miami - I was adopted and made an honorary member of the ASCE LA Section by a group young engineers from Los Angeles. They rolled dozens deep and moved around like a school of tuna.  The personalities, the respect, and the love inspired me to return to Miami with a new approach to serving on Miami's Board of Directors. LA Section, my humble thanks.

But as many of us introverts require - it was time to retreat with the intention to recharge. I kindly declined a few lunch invites so I could find a quiet and remote area within the City where I could either knock out a few sun salutations or simply sit in silence.

Trip Advisor emphatically pointed me to Templo Bahia.

I read bit about the religious temple and broadly understood the religion to be an evolution of today's major religions. The religion is based on humanitarian, moral, social and educational values. And is roughly 100 years old. No objections there - so I called for a cab.

Located atop the hills of Panama City, my ride took me through the sloping streets of the local neighborhoods that hadn't resembled Casa Viejo or the new city.

When I arrived at the entrance of the temple, the landscaping instantly went from an entropic design to an artful one. The local vegetation swayed with the slightest breeze as if whispering to its visitors - please shut the fuck up. :)

... TO BE CONTINUED